About Me, Blog

My Relationship

I decided to share some of my story. Specifically about my relationship where it started and how it has gotten to the point where it is now.

It all started when we met in 2011. We ended up in the same applied math class in grade 10, first semester. We became friends and talked quite frequently. He eventually invited himself over to my house to watch the Step Up movies (I had never seen them), haha. We ended up not even watching that specific one, we watched a crap load of other movies. We became a couple at the end of grade 10, I actually dumped him while he was on a road trip to a different province (we’re Canadian). I remember he told me, he loved me. I thought it was a little out there, but I did believe him when he said that he actually meant it.

I was a very toxic and negative person back then, I did a lot of stupid things that I would eventually regret. Once I got some guidance and help, I started to fix my life. We kept in touch throughout the 2 years we didn’t really see each other. It was probably very dumb, but every time we talked I always wanted to make sure his feelings hadn’t changed, that he did still loved me. Sure enough, he always felt the same. I truly believe that deep down I had strong feelings for him always, I just didn’t think I was in a good place to become any thing more than friends.

It was the summer before grade 12 started, 2013, I was tired of being in the house all summer doing nothing but working, so I messaged him just to see if he would want to see a movie. We went to that movie and everything changed from that day forward. I was finally at the point in my life where I could trust myself to be in a relationship with him and not hurt him or do something stupid. From that moment on I loved him, just as much as he had always loved me.

Our relationship wasn’t always simple, it was very complicated in the beginning. We had to deal with family members that weren’t exactly fond of him, and had no fear in showing it. I lost the last grandfather I had left at the beginning of our relationship. He lost his great-grandmother 7-8 months after we started dating. That was the first time I took a plane, so I could go with him to the funeral and burial in a different province. It took a little over a year for things to finally mellow out.

I remember being told that the amount of love I had for him was just a honeymoon stage, that it would go away eventually. Or that he was unstable in ways. All those words just went in one ear and out the other, because I knew this was my person, that we were meant to make it work. We didn’t always have it easy but we always made it work. We’re now almost 5 years together and we have the most precious little girl. We’re committed to one another and we do our best to make everyday the best we can make it.

For all those people that thought we were young and stupid, that we weren’t going to make it. I would just like to say we showed you. We aren’t naive either, we know that the world still has a lot to throw at us and we aren’t perfect. But we agreed from day one that we would try our damn hardest to make this last until 6 ft under, and we live by that. We’re the farthest thing from a perfect couple, but we work through our differences and we cherish every moment we spend together, as well as a family.

To my person, my ride or die. I love you so much! I’m so freaking proud of us and our family! Forever and always!

Blog

Relationship Time

I was doing my regular scroll through Facebook when I happened upon a blog post one of my favourite actors wrote. Pretty much she went on a vacation with her husband and left her child in the care of someone else. Of course after posting all her pictures with her husband on social media, everyone came out of the wood work with an opinion. Apparently there were quite a few people shaming her for going on a vacation without her child. If you have time to read the article, Us Time, she goes on to explain that even though they have children they still need to focus on their relationship.

The post got me thinking, I only have 1 child and obviously I expected our time to hang out just one on one would be non-existent. However, I do try to make time for my relationship. The truth is my man and I were together 3 years before I even got pregnant. We hit 4 years together the day after our daughter was born, we were a couple before her, and I want to make sure we are a couple after her and our future kids leave home. I love my daughter with everything I have, but I also love my other half with everything I have.

Traditionally, you hear most people say that they put their kids ahead of their relationships. I don’t think that’s fair. I think a balance is essential. I can’t expect us to have been a couple before our child then not be a couple until they leave the house. That could  be decades from now, and quite honestly I would never expect to survive life together that way.

When you make time for one another a way from kids or to regroup while they are sleeping it will benefit the relationship, which in turn will benefit the way you raise your kids. Every Sunday I stay up waaaaay too late to hang out with my man (12hr nights), I cherish that time, it’s one of my favourite moments throughout my week. I love it because it gives us some time to be together, Siri is in bed around 8 so we have from 8pm to roughly 4am to regroup for the week to come. We talk about anything and everything, we try to catch up on our shows, we play video games together. Essentially we hang out, and it’s a reminder to the days before kids. I would be really worried about how our relationship would function if we didn’t take the time to sit around and do nothing with one another.

Now this doesn’t mean it’s the go-to fix for everything. I’m not naive and think just because we make time for one another all of sudden every issue is gone. We still get frustrated with each other, I still get annoyed when he leaves his garbage everywhere (it’s like cleaning up after another kid). Sometimes I still feel under appreciated, but we try really hard to communicate through those times. By communicating our issues, we hope that we’ll always want the weekend to come, we’ll always secretly look forward to Sunday because it’s our time.

I love you JD!