I was doing my regular scroll through Facebook when I happened upon a blog post one of my favourite actors wrote. Pretty much she went on a vacation with her husband and left her child in the care of someone else. Of course after posting all her pictures with her husband on social media, everyone came out of the wood work with an opinion. Apparently there were quite a few people shaming her for going on a vacation without her child. If you have time to read the article, Us Time, she goes on to explain that even though they have children they still need to focus on their relationship.
The post got me thinking, I only have 1 child and obviously I expected our time to hang out just one on one would be non-existent. However, I do try to make time for my relationship. The truth is my man and I were together 3 years before I even got pregnant. We hit 4 years together the day after our daughter was born, we were a couple before her, and I want to make sure we are a couple after her and our future kids leave home. I love my daughter with everything I have, but I also love my other half with everything I have.
Traditionally, you hear most people say that they put their kids ahead of their relationships. I don’t think that’s fair. I think a balance is essential. I can’t expect us to have been a couple before our child then not be a couple until they leave the house. That could be decades from now, and quite honestly I would never expect to survive life together that way.
When you make time for one another a way from kids or to regroup while they are sleeping it will benefit the relationship, which in turn will benefit the way you raise your kids. Every Sunday I stay up waaaaay too late to hang out with my man (12hr nights), I cherish that time, it’s one of my favourite moments throughout my week. I love it because it gives us some time to be together, Siri is in bed around 8 so we have from 8pm to roughly 4am to regroup for the week to come. We talk about anything and everything, we try to catch up on our shows, we play video games together. Essentially we hang out, and it’s a reminder to the days before kids. I would be really worried about how our relationship would function if we didn’t take the time to sit around and do nothing with one another.
Now this doesn’t mean it’s the go-to fix for everything. I’m not naive and think just because we make time for one another all of sudden every issue is gone. We still get frustrated with each other, I still get annoyed when he leaves his garbage everywhere (it’s like cleaning up after another kid). Sometimes I still feel under appreciated, but we try really hard to communicate through those times. By communicating our issues, we hope that we’ll always want the weekend to come, we’ll always secretly look forward to Sunday because it’s our time.
I love you JD!